To celebrate International Kissing Day, One condoms ambassador Alix Fox shares how to make the most of making out, with some hot kissing tips sure to seduce whoever you lock lips with:
It can be easy to forget quite how glorious a simple snog can be. So much discussion of relationships focuses on more extreme, explicit aspects of physical pleasure and sex, yet a truly wonderful kiss can shake, quake and rock your world to the extent that it feels as though it should register on the Richter scale. And on the flipside, no matter how attractive and charismatic a person is, a tragic tonsil hockey session can leave you feeling like you’d rather slide between the sheets at a bedbug bunga bunga party than see how their terrible tonguing technique translates to the boudoir.
To encourage you to rediscover the power of the pucker, I asked five people to share stories of their most magnificent kisses, and explain what made those visits to first base quite so memorably ace. I’ve also added some inspiring ideas to help upgrade your lip-locking from ‘unremarkable’ to ‘unforgettable’. Grab your Chapstick, and prepare for some kisses that can’t be licked…
“We’d been looking round a museum on a date, and got in a lift to travel up to the next floor. However, once everyone else had filed out through the doors, he pressed the button to close them again, and kissed me passionately until we arrived back at ground level. Then he smiled, took my hand and nonchalantly led me to another section of the exhibition, while I was burning up inside and absolutely craving more.”
If you want to give your kissing game a lift, then lifts are the ideal location! Because you only have a limited time before the doors slide open and the caress must come to a close, they lend a thrilling sense of urgency. Temporarily being held in such an enclosed space with your lover can make things feel unusually potent as well – plus, there are often lots of mirrors…
To dose a kiss with a similar shot of exquisite drama, I was once about to wave goodbye to a date at a tube station, but instead told him at the last minute to jump on the train with me for just one stop. We fervently made out for the three minutes it took to reach the next destination on the Northern Line, then I left him to find his way home, dazed, dizzy and drunk on the high. Best use of your Oyster card that you’ll ever make.
“My best kiss? When I was so desperate to have my lips on his that I’d even choke myself to do it. He put his hand on my throat (all consensually, of course), then instructed me to kiss him – and positioned himself just far away enough that I’d have to lean forward against his fingers and momentarily stop breathing to do so. Oomph.”
This isn’t one to try unless you know that your partner will appreciate the BDSM-tinged twist, of course. But if you’re into being dominant, a surprisingly effective snogging accessory is a lollipop. Suck on it saucily while holding your partner’s gaze; kiss them with your Chupa Chups-flavoured mouth; then pop the pop between their lips instead. Continue kissing their neck, nibbling their ears, and stroking their chest, but if they sigh or moan, command them to be quiet: the lollipop acts as a sugary stand-in gag. Shhhhhhockingly hot.
“This seems a bit cringey now, but back in my high school days I was completely besotted with a classmate of mine. We’d known each other since we were in primary together and I just adored him…whilst for years, it seemed like he couldn’t care less about me. Fast forward to a school disco when I was about 15 years old, done up in a goth outfit complete with statement choker, and standing at the side of the room awkwardly with my little gaggle of friends.
Then, out of a sea of people bathed in coloured lights, he started walking straight towards me. My best mate was fizzing with hysterical excitement, but trying to be cool, I just put my finger in my mouth, hooked out my bubble gum, and stuck it on the poster behind me while looking him dead in the eyes. Then he kissed me, and it felt electric; the whole experience was like something from a teen movie.
The next day, we had assembly in the school hall, and my gum was still glued there – proof that it all really happened.”
Squishing a gob of masticated Wrigleys to the wall might not be the best way to do it as an adult, but leaving a sign – either in a place that you have kissed someone, or a place that you’d like to kiss them – can be a gorgeously whimsical way to mark a romantic moment.
Not seen your lover in too long? Try using coloured chalks to draw hearts or ‘X marks the spot’ crosses on your street or garden path in spots you’d like to greet them with welcome kisses when they finally come home. Write a note in lipstick or soap on a bathroom mirror or tiles, asking to be snogged in the shower; play a game of hangman on a pub beer mat with the spaces _ _ _ _ _ _ standing in for ‘KISS ME’; hide a little token, symbol, or harmless piece of cheeky graffiti in a public place where you’ve shared a special smooch – then see if it’s still there when you return for a re-creation.
Yes, this is all sickeningly sweet and will make some folks do a little sick in their mouths rather than feel motivated to kiss with ‘em. But what one person finds nauseatingly corny, another will think is next-level cute. And one thing few of us can argue with: it feels lovely when someone has made an effort to try and charm you, rather than taking your affections for granted.
“I’ll always remember one particular kiss because of how full-body sensual it was. I was at a party with my girlfriend, wearing a backless dress, and she snuck me into a cloakroom where all the guests’ coats were hanging. As she kissed me, alternating between being beautifully delicate and more hungrily forceful, and tracing her fingers over my neck, shoulders and arms, she pressed me against someone’s fluffy, furry jacket; the sensation of the fuzzy fronds brushing against the bare skin of my spine made it feel like I was being caressed from behind, too. I could smell other people’s heady colognes and perfumes on their clothing, and felt a bit like I was about to vanish into Narnia! It was so theatrical and totally gripping – a real ‘time stopping’ moment.”
Try ‘Carousel Kissing’ – a playful way to turn a snog into something more spicy by incorporating different sensations. Begin by gently pushing your lover back against a wall as you kiss. After a while ‘spin the carousel’: rotate your bodies to back each other against new surfaces: a cool glass window (which also gives a frisson of exhibitionist excitement if there’s a chance you might be seen); a soft duvet cover; some plush curtains; a silky dressing gown hanging on the back of a door; maybe even a hard polished wood floor. If you fancy, try undressing each other as you go.
Because you’ll have to move around to find different surfaces, it makes kissing more active, and taking turns to spin things round can be a real giggle – or, because it’s so physical, and involves the power dynamic constantly switching from one partner to the other, it can be intensely sexually charged if you’re in that mood. Don’t be surprised if this type of play leads to things getting steamy on the sofa, or the kitchen table, or the stairs…
Remember to stay safe if you do amp up the action. While you’re experimenting with textures, it’s a great moment to try ONE Tattoo Touch condoms (£7.99 for a mixed pack of 12). They’re embossed with ink-inspired designs that switch things up from the usual ribs or dots. Alternatively, ONE’s Pleasure Dome condoms are looser around the glans of the penis to give him more comfortable ‘headroom’, and allow the rubber to move slightly against the most sensitive parts of his manhood. They’re excellent for guys who find standard rubbers restrictive.
“There was a three month build up to my most treasured kiss. It finally happened on a rooftop, on bonfire night. Not only was the setting incredibly romantic, but he’d sent me a message earlier in the day promising to ‘try and make me sigh’ that evening…and he delivered.”
To create a sense of anticipation (albeit perhaps not with a 90-day wait for the payoff!), kiss your lover’s palm, then slowly close each of their fingers around the spot, one by one, so they’re holding your kiss safe. Then promise them that they can plant it anywhere they like later, on themselves or on you. Mwah!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I’m a ‘decently indecent’ broadcaster, journalist and sex educator who’s prod to work as Sex & Relationships expert for ONE Condoms and Ambassador for Brook young people’s personal health charity. I co-host an X-rated comedy show on BBC Radio 1 called Unexpected Fluids, I’m resident explicit agony aunt on The Modern Mann podcast; and I front The Guardian’s Close Encounters audio documentary series. Come natter ‘n’ chatter to me on Twitter and Insta @AlixFox.